“Time misspent” was supposed to apply to the parts of eight seasons I spent working in minor league baseball, forsaking a real corporate life for bus trips up I-29, “taxing the spread” when major league rehabbers bought dinner for the team and grabbing a beer or two after the last game of a ten-game homestand.
Time misspent can also apply to other aspects of life. Like corn dogs.
We just got back from a week in Martha’s Vineyard, which, by the way, is one of five place names in the country with an apostrophe in it (in case you were wondering). Having grown up in southern California, I remember that going to the beach (if it didn’t include TK Burger or a Balboa Bar) meant a corn dog. Greasy, good corn dogs, where you would finish the dog and have grit in your teeth – maybe it was corn, maybe it was sand, but it was something gritty.
We got to the Vineyard and I really wanted a corn dog. Layup, one would think. Nope.
Vineyard Haven… Nope. A little too upscale. The nice people at Sandy’s Fish and Chips told me my best bet was “the frozen food section at Stop and Shop”.
Edgartown. Nope. Again, the corn dog is perhaps a bit lowbrow… the ice cream places, which should have had something, had things like paninis. At the beach? Really? Paninis?
Chilmark/Menemsha. I would have thought the Bite or the Galley would have been a dead lock. Both serve copious amounts of fried food, but no bleeping corn dogs. Although the Bite did have Mac and Cheese Bites, the best I’ve had since the press box of Midway Stadium at St. Paul (where everything is fried – the best press food in the universe).
Oak Bluffs. This is the Coney Island of MV. My two hopes – Nancy’s and a place called Jimmy’s – didn’t have them. Jimmy’s had a sign claiming they sold “hot dogs” but they had nothing that was even a hot dog. You gotta be kidding me. Nancy’s, lots of fried fun things, but nothing.
So we get back to the 603 today. I’m thinking Cremeland – for those who don’t know, it’s an old-school, fried food and ice cream joint in the New England tradition. We called on the way over, and you got it: no corn dogs. So I stopped at Dairy Queen on 2nd St. in Manchester. No corn dogs.
I checked the menu at Axel’s, a great spot in Merrimack. No corn dogs. Woodman’s of Essex (well, Litchfield): no corn dogs.
Allegedly, the only place I can find them in the 603 is King Kone in Merrimack.
So, yeah, here we are. The summer food of choice, sold at almost any ballpark in the country, appears to be nearly extinct. What’s caused this? I’m going to blame the food police who don’t let us eat anything fun anymore. Corn dogs were a staple in the CdMHS cafeteria, right along with the coffee cake. They probably eat foie gras now.